Today marks the 1 month anniversary of us finding out there was something night right with Truitt and I (Leisel) was admitted to the hospital. Wow! What a month it has been!
A couple of months before all of this, I had started reading a book titled As Silver Refined by Kay Arthur. She tells how the silver smith refines the silver by turning up the fire and making it hotter and hotter until the silver is so purified he can see his reflection clearly in the silver. And during this entire firing process, the silver smith NEVER LEAVES THE SILVER- the process is so delicate, that he stays right beside the silver to oversee the entire process. This parable left a big impression on me. It is truly my hearts desire to see the Lord’s reflection in my life, but the idea of ‘fiery trials’ is a little terrifying. Especially when you’ve had as easy of a life as I have had, and aren’t used to very much fire!
For You, O God, have tested us;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
This month has definitely been the largest ‘trial’ I have ever gone through. The heat of the fire burned hot when I saw my new born baby’s feet black, and so swollen they burst. It burned when I saw him try to cry but he had no voice because of the tube down his throat. It burned when I knew they were pricking his already sore hand over and over because it wouldn’t give enough blood for them to test. I felt the heat turn up when I walked out of the hospital and my baby stayed in. It burns when I go home and my other children ask why they still can’t see their baby brother. But through all the heat, I can honestly say that the Lord has never left my side. His presence has been so clearly evident and His grace so available. I would not choose to go through this again, but I pray that after having come through this ‘fire’, the reflection of Christ is more clearly seen in my life.